What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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why was the stone green? I dont know thats why im asking -_-

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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