what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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