Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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