WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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i'm hard

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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