Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

thumb_up thumb_down +4

3 men in a boat One day there were a American, Mexican, and a Chinese men in a boat. The Chinese man threw over a fortune cookie and said we have to many of these in our country. The Mexican threw over a taco and said we have to many of these in our country. The American threw over the Mexican and said we have to many of these in our country. The End

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops