roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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