- Anti Joke

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

Yo momma is so stupid that she walked off a cliff.

Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.