A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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Andoni was here

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops