what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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Turkey Balls

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops