As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

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yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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what just happened when chuck norris falling from the sky..? Starts making a wish

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

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What funny about AIDS nothing its a terrible disease

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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