What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Women deserve equal rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +15

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why does the man appear fat he is

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are black violets are black i am blind

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Knock knock." "Come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops