Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Neither has he

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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A penis walks into a bar..

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When life throws knives at you, run away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops