A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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women's rights.

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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hellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohello

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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So a bar walks into a man...

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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