I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -19

hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a person who can differentiate an anti-joke from a joke and one who cannot? Other than being able to tell the difference between the two types of humour, it is impossible to tell, as no further information is given.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

25

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

thumb_up thumb_down -21

guess what what ...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops