Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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rarw

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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What's the difference between a duck?

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops