when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

Whats the leading cause of death Life.

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

Dane Cook makes a joke.

What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

Apple hates Blackberry.

Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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