''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

womans having rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops