“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops