So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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