What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops