What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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9/11

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ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops