whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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