roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

One, two, three, four and five

Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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