Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

what did the man say to the other man? hey

Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

So a man walks into a bar, right?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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