Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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black people swimming

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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What do you call 4 Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Cuatro sinco.

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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