ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I don't know what to do! One day I'm a wig wam, the other day I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee again!" The doctor sighs and replies,"Sir, we've been over this. You have stage four periodic cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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