a man was shot.... he died

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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