if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops