your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Drew Knowles is gay

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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