What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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