I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

WILLYS

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

PENIS :)

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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