Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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