(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Josh Moran sticks CD's up his dick to see how fun it is to give a boy anal.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -15

David Cameron

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What comes after 69? 70

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops