So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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A fat guy!

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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