What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

thumb_up thumb_down

My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

thumb_up thumb_down

Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down

When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down

A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down

The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops