There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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