Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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u know whats a crime? rape

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops