- Anti Joke

Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

What do you call a woman on a bike? A dike

what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects