I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Andoni was here

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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Error 37.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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my penis

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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