The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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