Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the kid? Red because he got hit by the bus.

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Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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What did the docter say to its patient? What?? Im sorry sir you have aids

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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