Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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hey hey apple

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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Chick Norris... Enough said

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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