Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops