But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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hi

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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