A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

hi jonny

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's worse than finding an apple in your apple Finding a black guy in your school

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops