A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

who is gay wit mon james cornish

Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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