What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Hi.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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How meny Jews can you fit in an ash-tray? None. There to big

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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what do u call a black guys dick a pogo stick

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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