:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

thumb_up thumb_down -25

wut du u cull a niggre whos wyte nut a niggre

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Japanese study of the stereotypical Italian under scientifical environment: Japanese: Test one: Hello! Italian: AHAHA HOHOO! WHOPPIE! ME IS MARIO MARIO I AM MAGIC MUSHROOM EATING PLUMBER! I AMMA GONNA JUMP ON YOU (AND gRAPE YOU!) Japanese: ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS GET! Italian: AHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Japanese: OMG ITALIAN IS STRONG! ACTIVATE TRAP DOOR! ITALIAN: *falls down door* MAMA MIA! OH NOH! Japanese: Puh! BEWARE OF ITALIAN STEREOTYPE! Experiment two:Japanese experiment with in actual Italia: Japanese: Hello Mr Itali... Italian: Are you looking at me? Japanese: Uh well I... Italian: ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEE? WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES EH? Japanese: Balls? Uh my mother when she gave birth to... Italian: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME! ITALIANS ARE DANGEROUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops