whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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#IsaiahAfterAD&B

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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Whats funny? Your face.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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