Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

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Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

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yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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