What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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So 185 cowboys walk into a bar and the bartender says "I can't serve 185 cowboys!" The cowboys ask why not and the bartender says "Because that would exceed the legal maximum occupancy of this building."

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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