Why did Larry drop his suitcase? Because he had no arms. A) Knock knock, B) Who's there? A) Not Larry

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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