A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

whats black white and red all over an abused child

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

A man walks into a bar, and he died.

Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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