Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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"Have you heard the one about the trannie?" "No, what is it?" "Wow, that's offensive." -Juanita

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Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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12 niqqa 12.

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Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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j.p. is dumb

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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why am I writing this...im bored

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops