Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

So theres a man, a horse, and a piglet in a helicopter. Upon noticing this, the pilot jumps out of the plane and the animals go crashing to their doom.

Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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